Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
