Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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