Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
and she was petting her beer can
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
