i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
