And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
