I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
