I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
