If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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