it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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