It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
