I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
