I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
