She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
