don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
