You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I want to have your abortion
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize