Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
