sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
