If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
i now understand why vodka
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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