I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize