considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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