So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it hurts more in the daytime
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
