saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
