Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She announced her abortion via fbk
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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