Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Randomize
