so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
