Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
