I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
