it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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