girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
