my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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