Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
