nut hugger
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
