The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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