I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
