Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
