Please, let me fuck your mom
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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