Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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