Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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