All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize