I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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