JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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