I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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