Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
