2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
