my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
