I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
