you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
