But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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