In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so explain again why im purple
no
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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