Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize