He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize