It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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