he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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