Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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