I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize