He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The beer is more important than you right now.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
