My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
