I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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