erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
