Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we should paint friendship bongs
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