Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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