We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
A+ Viking dick
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