Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
