That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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