Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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