So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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