I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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