Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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