next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
