If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
