i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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