Whod you bang
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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