I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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