I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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